Keep it up!

Big ups to all my “special” facebook “friends.” You know who you are. The ones who do the status updates dropping the subtle AND not -so-subtle hints that you are in desperate need of a significant other. Yes, we get it, you are lonely and are using another social networking site to let everyone know that you are single and ready to mingle. You might as well join match.com or eHarmony or any of those other sites that specialize in that sort of thing, but no, you think those sites are a last resort. Guess what, broadcasting that you need help “trying to get a girl’s attention” or that you are in your “selfish stage and don’t wanna have kids unless Mr. Right comes along” reeks of more desperation than joining a dating site. With a dating site, at least you can say that you are too busy with your career to go out and meet people on a regular basis.  I mean, that’s actually a plausible excuse for being single nowadays.  When you let all 368 of your “friends” on facebook know about your single status three times a day, every day, you can’t use the “I’m too busy” excuse cuz you constantly check your account to see if someone commented on your status, then you comment again, and go back and forth to no avail. You also post pics of all the parties you go out to OR any other social event your a$$ is going out to, but not meeting people. You broadcast so much that your “desperation odor” is more like a repellent for potential mates.

Here’s an actual status update I read (name has been changed, but might as well be the dude’s new nickname):

Joe Virgin is “what the f*&ck do I gotta do to get a girl’s attention?!?!?! Blaaaahhhhhhh!!!!”

Seriously, someone ACTUALLY WROTE THAT SHIT and NO, this person is not in high school (I think he’s a college grad and currently a working stiff). What followed next was a bunch of his “friends” dropping comments, some were trying to help the poor-no-game-having-lovable-loser, but most of  the comments were clowning on him. It was mildly entertaining, cuz most of the people who thought they wrote a funny/witty comment, actually fell short (we all can’t be funny, but thanks for trying).

Here’s another one my homie copy and pasted in an email she sent to me, it’s from one of those Random 25 Facts:

“i’m still in what i call my “selfish” phase aka “i’m not ready to be a wife and mom” phase! however, if the right man were to come along, i just might break free from this “phase” “

WOW! Are you serious? Was it your attention to drive off guys by telling them that once the two of you hook up, it’s time to start a family? Nothing scares off guys quicker than commitment. HAHA! I guess you don’t waste any time.

So to all those who post stupid shit about your pathetic lives on the internet under your real names, keep it up. It will eventually come into my hands and I will laugh my a$$ off. Everyone needs a good laugh every now and then and it’s always funny when it is at someone else’s expense. Even more so when we know that person.